When Leaders Cry!

When Leaders Cry!

(Can You Hear Me Now?) 

In view of the alarming statistics concerning the recent spike in 21st Century Pastors/Leaders abandoning America's pulpits, and in some cases committing suicide; I felt compelled to address this most pressing issue, and share a few insights and provocations from a recent Leadership Series I've developed for both Pastors and Business Leaders, designed to help them identify the essential relationships they need in their life, so that they can achieve the balance necessary for a fulfilling life,that goes beyond the calling and purpose of their life. 

It is reported that more than 1,700 pastors leave the Ministry every month. It has been proven statistically that one of the major causes of Burn-Out & Moral Failure in Senior Pastors is discouragement; Because they don’t know who they can trust with their vulnerability. It is reported by Tim Peters, at ChurchLeaders.com, that over 50% of Pastors are dealing with chronic discouragement, because the complaints seem louder than the compliments, and 70% of Pastors report that they have no one they trust as a true close friend.

The challenge that must be addressed is while it is the responsibility of the Pastor to hear the voice of God and the voice of People; Who hears the Pastor’s voice?

The Balance of the Pastor requires SPIRITUAL CONNECTION for Ministry Health, PSYCHOLOGICAL CONNECTION for Mental Heath, and EMOTIONAL CONNECTION for Relational Health.

It must be emphatically stated that every one around the Leader doesn’t have the capacity to meet the needs of the Leader. Just because someone cares for the Leader,doesn’t mean they can Carry the “weight” of the Leader. It is imperative that a Leader understand the type of relationships that they need close to their Life, and discern who can best fulfill those roles in their Life.

Because Leaders are considered to be innately competitive, most Leaders don't feel that they can trust other Leaders with their more serious issues. As a result of this competitiveness, its often quite challenging to build a friendship of trust with another Leader,when its possible that the Leader with whom you feel you can best relate, could be secretly competing with you. You can’t assume that everyone you consider a colleague, can be trusted as a confidant, nor should you become so suspicious, that you think every colleague is your competitor. How do you discern between a colleague who can be trusted as a confidant, and someone who is a competitor.

DNA of a CONFIDANT:

They care about how you are doing,more than they care about what you do.

They will never betray your trust or expose what you share in confidence.

They don’t wait until you express a need,before they seek to meet a need.

They can know the worst about you, but never diminish your worth.

Only a person who can handle your Heart should be trusted to hear your Thoughts. Of all the Disciples of Jesus,John was the only one of the 12 Disciples,who was a personal witness to the 18 grueling and gruesome hours of the crucifixion of Jesus. As a result of this sacred trust, it was Jesus who said to John in his final moments on the cross,in St. John 19:26-27,"When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by,whom he love, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home."

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT:

Don't share your pain with those who are not engaged in process. 

Don't share your vision with those don't understand your values.

Don't share your vices with anyone who will exploit your weakness.

If you are Leader who has felt challenged in finding someone you can trust, or knowing how to communicate what you need with those you trust; I hope this blog has provided some process and parameters that will allow those closest to you to HEAR YOU NOW!

written by Ricky Allmon

©2013 Ricky Allmon

www.rickyallmon.org

info@rickyallmon.org

COPYRIGHT NOTICE: No portion of this document may be reproduced in whole or part, without written consent from Ricky Allmon or without credit being given to Ricky Allmon. Any unauthorized use, disclosure, or distribution is prohibited.

LETS GO "FISHING"!

LETS GO "FISHING"!

As we rapidly approach Pentecost Sunday on May 19, 2013, I am being shaken and stirred with a fresh enthusiasm and expectancy concerning the Great Commission that Jesus gave his disciples in St. Matthew 28:19, when he said, "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

St. Matthew 4:19, records the words of Jesus to his disciples,  "And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."

The question that must be answered is what does it take to go "FISHING" in the 21st Century?

I believe that if you are passionate about reaching the World with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you must first reach your "World" with the Love of Christ. In order to reach your "World" with the Love of Christ, you must know the rules of engagement:

Rule # 1 - You must interact with your "World" and show a genuine interest in the lives of others.

Rule # 2 - You must gain influence with those in your "World", through trust, that will cause them to want to follow you to Christ.

Rule # 3 - You must make an positive impact on your "World" through a consistent example of love and lifestyle

In order for the rules of engagement to be effective, you must know where to "fish", and what "bait" is necessary to catch the "fish". You do understand that when I say  "fish", I am referring to  people, and when I say "bait", I am referring to process.

So, lets begin with where to "fish". Where should you go to effectively engage people? Let me give you what I believe to be the most productive "FISHING SPOTS". 

The first is called "Circles of Influence". A "Circle of Influence" is any environment or place that's intrinsic in your life, and necessitates organic relationships for your life. 

Examples of a "Circle of Influence" would be your Family, your Job, School, your Community; Anyplace where you find yourself on a regular basis that demands some level of intimate interaction with others.

"Circles of Influence" are largely familiar, which requires that you find a creative way to engage those you already know, in a way that they may not expect, so you can create a fresh and exciting opportunity to lead them to an awareness of what they need.

The second "fishing spot" is called "Points of Impact". A "Point of Impact" is somewhere you may not go on a regular basis, but when you do, you will inadvertently meet people you have never met before, which compels you to step outside of your comfort zone and familiarity, and explore new experiences and relationships. 

Examples of a "Point of Impact" would be going to a Shopping Mall, the Fitness Club, a Hobby Class, or maybe just having dinner with someone from your "Circle of Influence.  

A "Point of Impact" is quite liberating, not only for those you want to reach, but for yourself as well, because it allows you the opportunity to reinvent yourself, and discover a new approach to making friends, engaging conversation, and building relationships.

Jesus spoke to his disciples, as they became skilled "fishermen", and said, in St. Matthew 10:16, "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves."

Now that we understand where to "fish", lets deal with how to "fish". I personally prefer one "bait", LOVE. As I peruse through the Gospels it seems that the most effective "bait" that Jesus used was LOVE. As a matter of fact, I don't find him using anything but LOVE. 

Jesus admonishes his disciples in St. John 13:35, when he states, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." 

So, what does this "bait" called LOVE look like in practical application?

LOVE is simply the process by which you win people to you, before you attempt to lead them to God. May I state a very hard, and somewhat harsh truth? If people don't like you, they will not like your God. It really doesn't matter how much God you know, if it is distorted by how much God you show, or how you supposedly show God, which determines how attracted others will be to God.

Acts 10:38 gives us the most comprehensive encapsulation of how we should "show" God, when Luke the Apostle writes,"How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good,and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him."

NOW, LETS GO "FISHING"!

written by Ricky Allmon

©2013 Ricky Allmon

www.rickyallmon.org

info@rickyallmon.org

COPYRIGHT NOTICE: No portion of this document may be reproduced in whole or part, without written consent from Ricky Allmon or without credit being given to Ricky Allmon. Any unauthorized use, disclosure, or distribution is prohibited.

Wasters. Takers. Incubators.

Wasters. Takers. Incubators.

It is the noted motivational speaker and author, Jim Rohn, who suggests, "You are the average of the 5 people closest to your Life". In other words, your possibilities are inextricably tied to your partnerships. This observation becomes very poignant when you consider that clinical psychologists suggest that 1 in 5 people suffer from mental illness, some mild and some severe; Which leads you to an intense evaluation of your inner circle to make sure that your "Fave 5" does not consist of those who are considered to be "1 in 5".

In conversations with 21st Leaders, I am often asked the question,"How much of myself should I give to those closest to my Life?" My response, "Before you determine what you give of yourself, you must evaluate to whom you give the best of yourself;Your insights, your ideas, your innovation."  Also, it's equally important to evaluate how you engage and respond to those who provide insight and inspiration your life. 

I would like for you to give careful and conscientious consideration to the postulate that those who are closest to your Life, should have the capacity to "carry" the most for your Life, and have the character to respond positively to being catalyzed by your Life.

Whenever you are engaging a process intended for edification, education, and empowerment, whether as a "Giver" or "Receiver", consider these 3 Character types:

"WASTERS"

A "Waster" is someone who only desires information from you, because it allows them to feel validated by you, though they never intend to accomplish anything or serve a greater good with the insight they receive. It is simply a sense of entitlement, that perhaps, because of past accomplishments or a personal relationship with you, they deserve to be validated or affirmed by access to new ideas from you, without any responsibility of implementation.

"TAKERS"

A "Taker" is someone who is very intentional and deliberate in their quest for new ideas and information, but they show no accountability to the process. They simply come to take from your life, but offer no appreciation for the wisdom and knowledge that you so freely make available from your life. I consider the "Taker" to be the most insidious of the three Character types, because under the guise of loyalty and dedication, they seek to take what they often have no capacity to execute or discipline to develop. A "Taker" simply wants what you have, with no desire to be cultivated by what you have generously shared.

"INCUBATORS"

An "Incubator" is someone who personifies the sterling attributes of consciousness, capacity, and commitment that cultivates the fertile soil of the soul through a nurturing process of positive engagement that will yield growth and productivity. An "incubator" not only recognizes the worth of the information and ideas to which they are exposed, but they also make themselves accountable to the Leader who has facilitated the transfer of insight and ideas for transformation.

1. CONSCIOUSNESS - Awareness of the value of the insight and information that has been shared with you, and how significant it is to your Life.

2. CAPACITY - Agreement and Alignment with what has been shared with you, through a cognitive commitment, that will lead to a point of definitive decision regarding your development for your Destiny.

3. COMMITMENT - Assimilation of your Identity into the insights and ideas that have been shared with you, by making yourself accountable to the process and responsible for the results that will cause your Life to advance.

So, now that you understand the Character types, the questions must be answered, "Which are You?" & "Who do You have around You?"

written by Ricky Allmon

©2013 Ricky Allmon

www.rickyallmon.org

info@rickyallmon.org

COPYRIGHT NOTICE: No portion of this document may be reproduced in whole or part, without written consent from Ricky Allmon or without credit being given to Ricky Allmon. Any unauthorized use, disclosure, or distribution is prohibited.