When Leaders Cry!

When Leaders Cry!

(Can You Hear Me Now?) 

In view of the alarming statistics concerning the recent spike in 21st Century Pastors/Leaders abandoning America's pulpits, and in some cases committing suicide; I felt compelled to address this most pressing issue, and share a few insights and provocations from a recent Leadership Series I've developed for both Pastors and Business Leaders, designed to help them identify the essential relationships they need in their life, so that they can achieve the balance necessary for a fulfilling life,that goes beyond the calling and purpose of their life. 

It is reported that more than 1,700 pastors leave the Ministry every month. It has been proven statistically that one of the major causes of Burn-Out & Moral Failure in Senior Pastors is discouragement; Because they don’t know who they can trust with their vulnerability. It is reported by Tim Peters, at ChurchLeaders.com, that over 50% of Pastors are dealing with chronic discouragement, because the complaints seem louder than the compliments, and 70% of Pastors report that they have no one they trust as a true close friend.

The challenge that must be addressed is while it is the responsibility of the Pastor to hear the voice of God and the voice of People; Who hears the Pastor’s voice?

The Balance of the Pastor requires SPIRITUAL CONNECTION for Ministry Health, PSYCHOLOGICAL CONNECTION for Mental Heath, and EMOTIONAL CONNECTION for Relational Health.

It must be emphatically stated that every one around the Leader doesn’t have the capacity to meet the needs of the Leader. Just because someone cares for the Leader,doesn’t mean they can Carry the “weight” of the Leader. It is imperative that a Leader understand the type of relationships that they need close to their Life, and discern who can best fulfill those roles in their Life.

Because Leaders are considered to be innately competitive, most Leaders don't feel that they can trust other Leaders with their more serious issues. As a result of this competitiveness, its often quite challenging to build a friendship of trust with another Leader,when its possible that the Leader with whom you feel you can best relate, could be secretly competing with you. You can’t assume that everyone you consider a colleague, can be trusted as a confidant, nor should you become so suspicious, that you think every colleague is your competitor. How do you discern between a colleague who can be trusted as a confidant, and someone who is a competitor.

DNA of a CONFIDANT:

They care about how you are doing,more than they care about what you do.

They will never betray your trust or expose what you share in confidence.

They don’t wait until you express a need,before they seek to meet a need.

They can know the worst about you, but never diminish your worth.

Only a person who can handle your Heart should be trusted to hear your Thoughts. Of all the Disciples of Jesus,John was the only one of the 12 Disciples,who was a personal witness to the 18 grueling and gruesome hours of the crucifixion of Jesus. As a result of this sacred trust, it was Jesus who said to John in his final moments on the cross,in St. John 19:26-27,"When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by,whom he love, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home."

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT:

Don't share your pain with those who are not engaged in process. 

Don't share your vision with those don't understand your values.

Don't share your vices with anyone who will exploit your weakness.

If you are Leader who has felt challenged in finding someone you can trust, or knowing how to communicate what you need with those you trust; I hope this blog has provided some process and parameters that will allow those closest to you to HEAR YOU NOW!

written by Ricky Allmon

©2013 Ricky Allmon

www.rickyallmon.org

info@rickyallmon.org

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